LOVE IS BEYOND RELATIONSHIP

LOVE IS BEYOND RELATIONSHIP
(An excerpt from: Life - Mystical Insights by Taoshobuddha)


LOVE BLOSSOMS WHEN ALL NEEDS ARE FINISHED!


Love is an unseen but realized truth beyond all that is known.






Each relationship evolves out of sub – consciousness. As an individual your sub – conscious differs from that of the other. No two individuals can ever have same sub – conscious pattern. Between these two is the vast ocean. You can swim through the ocean or drown in it. The choice is your. This makes each unique. And this gives rise to ego and makes the journey together difficult as well. It requires tremendous understanding to move together. Also it requires an understanding that this togetherness has a purpose. And the purpose is spiritual growth so that each can attain fruition.


The journey requires togetherness. Both are dependent on one another for their growth. This dependence has to become inter dependence first. One day each one of you has to become independent of a constant need of being cared for by a woman or a man.


That is the day that one actually becomes mature. That is the day when you are finished with your mother, and that is the day you can start loving a woman. Otherwise in every woman you will go on searching for your mother. Or in every man you will go on searching your father.


Then it is going to be false love. It is going to be political. Because you need the care, you pretend to love, but that is not mature love. You are like a child hanging onto the mother or the father. If you continue this way you will never know what love is.


One has to finish with this dependence. Only when you are finished with it, then for the first time you will be able to decide whether you love this woman or not, because now there is no need. Now you can share. When there is no need, only then love flowers.


Love blossoms only when all needs at physical, emotional, psychological, and intellectual have disappeared. Love is the most luxurious thing in the world. It is not a need. Instead it is the last luxury, the ultimate in luxuries. If you still need love it is just as any other needs. One needs food, or shelter, or clothes. One needs this and that. Then love is also part of this world. If love is still your need, than it is part of this world. Love belongs to the beyond. That is why love remains unknown and unknowable. Love first gives birth to you and then love evolves you.


When there is no need of love at any level of your being and you are simply flowing with energy and would like to share with someone, and someone has now begin overflowing with energy and would like to share with you, then you both offer your energies to an unknown god of love.


And it is sheer luxury because it is purposeless. It has no business to do. It is intrinsic. It is not a means to anything else. It is a great play. It is merger of two overflowing energies.


Love is a state of your consciousness when you are joyous. When there is a dance in your being love blossoms. Something starts vibrating, and radiating, from your center. Then something starts pulsating around you. It starts reaching people around you. It can reach women. Also it can reach men. So too it can reach rocks and trees and stars. This is cosmic dance of Shiva – ecstasy.


When I speak of love, this is what I am overflowing. Such love is not a relationship instead a State of Being. Whenever I use the word love, it is the State of Your Being because there is no other word as profound as Love. I use it as a state of being, not as a relationship. Relationship is only a minor aspect of it. But your idea of love is basically that of relationship, as if that is all. The nature of relationship goes on changing because it is the mirror effect of the state of your being. Your being operates through various stages of consciousness. And any change in your state of consciousness will unfold different natures of relationships. I am speaking of love as it evolves when everything and all states dissolve into one another. And nothing remains except oneness.


Relationship is needed only because you cannot be alone. Consciousness is still muddled. You have not known the cause of relationship. Because you are not yet capable of meditation you cannot know why two persons have to enter into relationship. Hence, meditation is a must before you can really love. One should be capable of being alone, utterly alone, and yet tremendously blissful. Without meditation no understanding can dawn. And without understanding relationship cannot attain to fruition.

Then you can love. Then your love is no longer a need instead a sharing, no longer a necessity. You will not become dependent on the people you love. You will share and sharing is beautiful. This is what I am doing here – Sharing my being, my Presence, and my Love.


But what ordinarily happens in the world? You do not have love. The person you think you love has no love in his being, either. Both are seeking for love from each other. None has experienced this deep within. Two beggars begging each other! Hence, there is fight, the conflict, the continuous quarrel between the lovers over trivial matters, over immaterial and stupid things! Thus life continues.


The basic quarrel is that the husband thinks he is not getting what is his right to get. The wife too thinks she is not getting what is her right to get. The wife thinks she has been deceived and betrayed too. The husband also thinks that he has been deceived. Where is the love then? Nobody bothers to give. What to say of sharing. Everybody wants to get. And when everybody is seeking to get love, nobody gets it and everybody feels at a loss, empty, miserable and tense.


The basic foundation of love is missing. It is like making the temple without the foundation. It is going to fall and collapse any moment. And you know how many times your love has collapsed. And still you go on doing the same thing again and again. You go on changing the partners without even creating the foundation. The foundation of love is aloneness. Aloneness is the fragrance of meditation.


You live in such unawareness! You do not see what you have been doing to your life and to that of others. You go on living mechanically, like a robot. You go on repeating the old pattern, knowing perfectly well you have done this before. You entered into one relationship that turned sour. You have not learned anything. Failures have not taught anything. Instead of seeking the cause you enter into another relationship. Also you know the outcome always, and deep down you are also alert that it is going to happen the same way again because there is no difference. You are preparing for the same conclusion, the same collapse and the same misery.


If you can learn anything from the failure of love, it is to become more aware, become more meditative. And by meditation I mean the capacity to be joyous alone. Very rarely you will find someone capable of being blissful for no reason at all just sitting silently and blissfully! Others will think you mad because the idea of happiness is that it has to come from somebody else. In reality bliss is the outcome of aloneness.


You meet a beautiful woman and you are happy, or you meet a beautiful man and you are happy. However sitting silently in your room and being blissful, is considered crazy or something! It is very rarely you will find such a person who is blissful by himself. No TV, no phone or no one is needed for his bliss.


Meditation is releasing your own psychedelic powers. It is releasing your own hidden splendor. And you become so joyous. A celebration arises in your being, and you need no relationship. Still you can relate with people. And that alone is the difference between relating and relationship.


Relationship is a commodity. Relationship is stationary. Relating is a process. You cling to relationship and remain stuck and miserable. Relating is a flow, a movement, a process. You meet a person, you are overflowing because you have so much love to give and the more you give, the more you have. Once you have understood this strange arithmetic of love that the more you give, the more you have you will be blissful. This is just against the economic laws that operate in the outside world. Once you have known that, if you want to have more love and more joy, you have to learn to share. Then you simply share. And whosoever allows you to share your joy with him or with her, you feel grateful to him or her. But it is not a relationship. It is a river like flow.


The river flows and passes by the side of a tree, greeting the tree, nourishing it, giving water to the tree and then the river moves on, dances on. It does not cling to the tree. And the tree does not hanker for the river. The tree never laments, ‘Where are you going? We are married! And before you can leave me you will need a divorce at least a separation! Where are you going? And if you were going to leave me, why did you dance so beautifully around me? Why did you nourish me in the first place?’


And the tree in return showers its flowers onto the river out of deep gratitude, and then the river moves on. The wind comes and dances around the tree and moves on. And the tree fills the wind with its fragrance in return. The entire universe is sharing except man.


This is relating. If humanity is ever going to become grown – up, or mature, this will be the way of love. People meeting, sharing, moving, in a very non possessive manner flowing like a river or blowing and surging through the tree leaves is indeed love that transcends all boundaries of finiteness.