Transcendence through marriage

Q

uestion 2: I do not really understand the transcendence of energy through marriage.

However, I had an experience during the act of sex many years ago. Once after making love we remained in the same position for an hour or so. I was totally aware. For me it was the taste of Samadhi. I was very tranquil.

Suddenly my wife woke up from this state and she felt I was trying to arouse her Kundalini energy. To this she objected. Apparently she rejected the state.

That time a thought came to mind. If she had allowed the experience she would have been enlightened that very moment. But she rejected.

And very strongly I felt now she will have to go her way and our ways are different. This I did not tell her.

After that incident our marriage relation shattered. I had to create a situation to come out of the relation. I thought if I create a situation for her to be aware that I have an affair it will be easy for exit from the relationship. A woman can tolerate anything but not next woman. In the beginning we maintained occasional relationship. However eventually it slowed and finally it completely stopped. With this the affair that I consciously created, too ended because the very purpose of the affair was to come out of the marriage relation. And therefore there was no need. To me it was a divine play.

Since then she is quite antagonistic about me. All around she goes on telling the people that we are not together and that I have illicit relations as so on. In the beginning it was unpleasant and as I spoke to you it never bothered. I continued my way of meditation.

I never spoke of this though I understood the play. But now I need you to throw light on this aspect and in this light how one can transcend beyond biology.

Can it be possible one of the partners transcend while the other remains engrossed.

Please throw light on this.

Taoshobuddha:

Your question is very relevant and through this the entire methodology is to be explained. However I will not reveal your identity as name is not important. What is important is indeed the insights and through this a methodology. These will help humanity to transcend beyond male-female relations and more so marriage.

You will recall when you were initiated and I gave you a new name and I told you that whenever a master initiates someone he looks at your entire past. This become visible to him and then based on your growth pattern and potentiality a new name is give. The name represents the path that you will travel in the process of your spiritual journey.

And when you asked about the initiation of your wife I had denied saying she is not yet ready, she is stuck at a point from where it will be difficult to transcend. A master can help only if there is an opening then his energy-field will work. And in the absence of an opening if stronger energy-force or tawwazjoh (as Sufi calls) is send this will harm the person instead of helping her. But I had asked you to continue to shower your love towards her irrespective of her antagonism. This is the only way for you to exhaust existing actions or karmas and with awareness you not create any new karmas.

Before I throw light on your question it is important to explain certain thing that will help you to understand the matter.

In every human being the emotions get muddled. For the same person different emotions arise intermittently. One moment you may feel love flowing towards your spouse profusely and another moment instead of love there may be hate, anger or any other emotions.

Each emotion first arises in you as thought and when it is expressed it becomes emotions. Thought are energy-field and so is the emotion. Energy cannot be destroyed. Only its direction and the form can be transformed. One has to very cautious about this. That is why spiritual life is very difficult.  You have to be conscious of each word spoken or any thought expressed as emotions. In the absence of awareness each thought and emotion will create numerous karmas.

To explain this further I will take two examples one from Hindu scripture and another from the life of Buddha. First the episode from the Hindu Scripture!

Hindus speak of various incarnations of Vishnu. Once the atrocities of a demon king named Bali was increasing. And it became essential to assume incarnation. So the Lord Vishnu incarnated as Vaman or midget or dwarf. The demon king was kind and benevolent. Yet still he created atrocities.  So the lord incarnated as a small boy. Seeing the lord appearing as boy motherly instincts aroused in the daughter (Ratnamala) of the demon king. A thought occurred to her – I wish I could breast feed this boy. The lord murmured – be it so.

In the form of the boy the lord got the commitment for three foot-steps of land. As soon as the king made the commitment the lord incarnate as boy assumed his magnified cosmic form. In two foot-steps he measured the entire land and there  was no more land available for the third foot so the king offered his head for the lord to rest the third measure. Thus the demon king attained to salvation and was released from the bodily bondage. However his daughter was filled with anger and she entertained the thought to kill the boy. Again the lord murmured; be it so.

Whether you believe in this scriptural anecdote or not certainly it reveals something of changing emotional nature of human beings. Thus emotions get muddled. And muddled emotions create problems. It will be very difficult to dissolve such diversified emotions without awareness.

Now after many lives Lord Vishnu incarnated again as Krishna the daughter Ratnamala too was born as demon. Her name then was Putna. As an ordinary person you cannot envision that Ratnamala and Putna are the same energy-fields. Only an enlightened one can envision this.

The story continues. The uncle of Krishna the king of Mathura sends the demon Putna to kill the baby Krishna. She comes with poison smeared   on her breast to suckle the new born baby. Thus coming with poison smeared on her breast the energy – fields of the thoughts were fulfilled. And story further continued thus the demon was killed by Krishna.

Such is the situation of each one of those who are unaware. Each moment we go on creating diverse energy-fields through different thought patterns and emotions. This requires awareness on the part of the seeker and strong-viable energy-field of the master.

This is one example. Can you imagine how complex may be the situation as you interact with different people on a moment to moment basis?

The problem gets further accentuated. You never like to complete anything. The moment problems crop up you tend to leave the work incomplete. Look at the situation you are doing something. Problems and difficulties are natural to come. You are given intelligence to sort out the problems. So instead of solving the problem you abandon the problem and its cause as well. This creates tremendous problem. You start a relationship. Remember you are dealing a human being. Two human beings have different feelings, minds, thought patterns, and two different egos. When these interact with one another moments of clash, conflict and difficult situations arise. When problem becomes too much instead of solving you abandon the relationship. Like this your life goes on. Remember existence never like anything to be left incomplete. Anything you leave incomplete you will have to come back to complete. Do you have an account how many things you have left incomplete in this life? No you cannot remember. Then there is no way to remember the many lives that you have lived before.

You are working on a project. Problem crops up you set aside the file. But then you will dream of the incomplete project and this will bother you. This is how dreams and many other hallucinations arise. And when you have to start any file or project you have to familiarize yourself from the beginning. And you have to start from where you had left the project. Can you imagine how complicated difficult the situation may be.

This is how your life of unconsciousness continues. And then one day when you are living your life happily suddenly an old file or relationship opens. You meet someone across life’s road soul recognizes the answering soul turmoil comes. Mind fails to understand this. This is bound to happen. Your life continues to be a life of unconsciousness.

To move forward you need constant awareness. And also you need the capabilities to see your entire past. In the company of the enlightened one when there is an opening many things are dissolved in the light of his awareness. In his presence your path gets illumined.

Russian writer Leo Tolstoy used to be plagued with a dream sequence of tall boots walking in front of him. He could not understand why he was having this dream again and again. When such situation arises you run to the priest or psychiatrist but all in vain.

A life of awareness is the only way out.

Now I will narrate an anecdote from the life of Buddha before I throw light on your question.

Every morning Buddha will get ready for the sermon and sometimes he will visit a place. This morning as usual he got ready and left for a place. Instead of reaching the designated place he reached another village where he was not scheduled to go. His disciple Ananda was with him. As Buddha came for the sermon crowd gathered and sermon began. While the sermon was going on a man appeared from the crowd. He came in front of Buddha and abused and cursed him. Buddha continued to listen quietly. And when the man looked as if finished Buddha told him if he had anything else to say. Many times he thought of coming to this village but could not reach. And now that he is here you should say all that you want to say. At this the man continued and then finally spit on Buddha. There was no reaction from Buddha. Instead Ananda reacted and said addressing Buddha, this is not spiritualism you are such an innocent person who had never harmed any one. And you are allowing this man to say all these things. 

Buddha who was silently listening to Ananda addressed him. Ananda this man has not said anything to you. Then why are you opening an account with this man. And when the time will come to balance this account you will not remember anything. Do you know why I have come to this place? Buddha continued, I came to this place only because of this man. Knowing I have closed all my open accounts. Only this account was open. If I had reacted I would have kept this account open. And now even this account is closed. I can enter existence without any worry. And I do not have to assume embodied form again.

Such is the understanding of buddhas. You are given human life to live full of awareness. It is the outcome your accumulated actions. Consciously you have to dissolve your past and then while living life with awareness you do not accumulate any more actions. When you perform actions with total awareness these never bind you. Then actions are like dried leaves growing on the tree of consciousness and are no more needed. Just as when leaves dry and turn gold and drop out quietly. So too with awareness actions simply drop out of your consciousness quietly. You attain to freedom.

Such is the life of the seeker. This is how you need to live your life full of awareness. You live guided by the light of the being, the light of the secret of the golden flower. This is what a buddha teaches. And not only have I taught instead all buddhas teach you how to be aware moment to moment. And Gautama Buddha’s last message was:

‘Be a light unto yourself!’

Remember all this and in the back drop of this I will throw light on your questions.

I do not really understand the transcendence of energy through marriage.

Transcendence through marriage implies the following things:

1.   You clearly understand the reason of togetherness through the anecdotes of Putna. The woman represents the totality of cosmic feminine energy and man represents the total cosmic masculine energy. This is why Hindus claim that bride symbolized Lakshmi and Bridegroom symbolizes the Vishnu element. And in Tamil Region on India the symbols of Vishnu and Lakshmi are replaced by Rukmani and Krishna.

2.   Two people living together in intimate relation at the bodily and emotional level. What is the reason of this? Is procreation the reason? Then you are living animalistic life. There is no reason to call you a human being. Human beings are the only creation that is bestowed with faculty of consciousness.

3.   You are the seed of consciousness. But the seed needs the right nourished soil and the water of bliss. Then one day the seed blossoms into a flower. You come to know the secrets of the golden flower.

Interaction between two people in an intimate bond of emotions and the light of awareness clears your way. You begin to understand the nature and rationale of emotions. Emotion provide tremendous energy field to grow. Emotions can be sanctified. And if there is no light of awareness then emotions will play a devil’s role and you will be denied any peaceful existence.

Then one day lust dissolves into the ocean of love. The nature of love changes and the traces of lust begin to disappear. Emotions attain maturity. The life energy that was moving downwards now starts moving upwards.

There are so many things happening to the couple that cannot be explained. When light explodes each can respond in a thousand ways. And each responds to this in his own way as planned by the existence.

This is transcendence of existential energy through marriage.  

Now the second part of your question:

However, I had an experience during the act of sex many years ago. Once after making love we remained in the same position for an hour or so. I was totally aware. For me it was the taste of Samadhi. I was very tranquil.

Suddenly my wife woke up from this state and she felt I was trying to arouse her Kundalini energy. To this she objected. Apparently she rejected the state.

That time a thought came to mind. If she had allowed the experience she would have been enlightened that very moment. But she rejected.

And very strongly I felt now she will have to go her way and our ways are different. This I did not tell her.

After that incident our marriage relation shattered. I had to create a situation to come out of the relation. I thought if I create a situation for her to be aware that I have an affair it will be easy for exit from the relationship. A woman can tolerate anything but not next woman. In the beginning we maintained occasional relationship. However eventually it slowed and finally it completely stopped. With this the affair that I consciously created, too ended because the very purpose of the affair was to come out of the marriage relation. And therefore there was no need. To me it was a divine play.

Since then she is quite antagonistic about me. All around she goes on telling the people that we are not together and that I have illicit relations as so on. In the beginning it was unpleasant and as I spoke to you it never bothered. I continued my way of meditation.

I never spoke of this though I understood the play. But now I need you to throw light on this aspect and in this light how one can transcend beyond biology.

Can it be possible one of the partners transcend while the other remains engrossed.

Please throw light on this.

First your sexual experience. Each individual operates at a different level. It is very rare that two persons operate at the same level of spiritual growth. Sometimes the level of growth is complimentary to one another. In such case the journey becomes like osmosis. And then energy flows from more intense one to the lesser one until two energies balance one another. Other times the energies remain conflicting to one another because of cultural or other reasons. The progress in the first case becomes very easy.

While in the second case awareness is needed on the part of the two partners. With awareness understanding comes and then interaction brings emotional maturity. If ego remains at foreplay then you cannot bring out your point. This is a very delicate situation. The emotions are at play. If the two partners are open to light then the light balances the two energies. With ego at foreplay the opening to the light becomes inoperative. The person gropes in darkness of ignorant and emotional immaturity without any clue. In such case the one with opening grows into emotional maturity while the other falters. The gap between understandings of the cosmic phenomena widens. And out of ego and ignorance the other cannot accept this.

Such was your case. The plane of interaction of the two differed. There was opening in you for the light of the master. In her case although she continued to claim of spiritual growth but in reality there was none. She continued to claim of her connection with her master but it was not there. Existence is one synergistic harmony. The sun gives light to the sacred and profane. In reality there is nothing sacred and nothing profane.

But the mind creates division. You respect one and disrespect the other. One master is great and the other is not. Ego is at play through the instrument of ignorance. The opening closes. The two may be operating in one act but the inner understandings differ. It is the light that remains within operating at the moment when two persons engage in the act of sex will determine the ultimate results. The results in two persons will differ during the same act of sex. The one with opening for light will experience energy moving upwards or ascending while in case of the one with no opening energy will move downwards or outer.

The result of the same act will differ in the two. This is evident in your experience. For you it was the experience of satori of Samadhi through sex while in the other the opposite happened. When two persons engage in the act of sex totally then they get the fleeting glimpse of Samadhi. Through two bodies are melting into one another. Through the bodies two energies merge into one another. At the peak of the experience you experience the state of timelessness. The taste of timelessness is the first window to Samadhi. It is like the framed view of the outside. You have opened the window and through the window you are looking at the sky and its majesty. This is satori or the taste of Samadhi. And then you come out of the bounden space into the open and suddenly the whole sky is open to you in all its majesty.

After such experience you are no more the same person. The old structure is disintegrating and the process of the new structure is to begin now. When someone experiences this state through sex marriage is transformed. Sex is no more sex. Instead it becomes the existential bio energy beyond the finiteness on body-mind realm.

Your spouse could have attained the same state as you did and it would have been benediction for the relation but her reaction to the situation was prompted by her ego and ignorance. She remained in the quicksand of negative energy of sex.

The thought in you that from now onwards the two lives have to move in different direction is correct. Your journey of transcendence continued. But not her! This you can see in the approach interaction and understanding in day to day life.

It seems that she cannot attain to meditation at all. She has fallen from the realm of meditation to the realm or ritualistic life. There is nothing can be done. There is no opening for the light to circulate in her now.

The only thing you can do to help her along the way is by not reacting to any word or gesture of her. Remember the understanding of Buddha otherwise you will be opening a new account. It is very arduous to reach to such situation or state of awareness that consciously you can close all your account with the women folks. Then then you will realize that the purpose of male-female relation has attained fruition. This is the ultimate in marriage.

You do not need to enter in any relation. There is no need. And even if you enter consciously there is no sin. Only those acts that are performed unconsciously are sin. When there is awareness or light darkness cannot grip you.

Let her act as guided by her consciousness and understanding. If she wants to remain antagonistic to you and continues to speak ill or unpleasant of you let it be so. You do not react. Continue to shower your love, concern and care that you may.

Always remember you have chosen this woman to be your spouse and no one forced on you. How can your choice be wrong? When for the first time you encountered this woman and you experienced the first pangs of love let those be your guiding force. Love never deceives any one. It is your understanding that creates problems for you. Change that understanding gestalt in life will change.

Nothing more is needed to be said now!